My friend Hassan and I decided to try giving out free hugs in Munich, while backpacking through Europe in the autumn of 2008. We had heard about the “Free hugs” movement on the internet and seen it in Seoul. The idea, if I understand it correctly, is to remind people that there's something beautiful and powerful about the exchange of warmth contained in a simple embrace.
We contemplated doing it at Oktoberfest, but felt that would be a cop-out because people would already be in a festive mood, and decided in the end to try it in a public square in the center of the city. So we bought some cardboard and a big marker to make the sign, asked a German to translate it for us, and discussed our plan. Would we be instantly mobbed by throngs of cute German girls in drndls, clamoring for a piece of the action, or stand there, alone and scorned, rejected by Munich, until we finally gave up?
Hassan and I started off standing there together, but soon decided that we each had to try it on our own. It was an enlightening experience, one that I recommend. It's fascinating to watch the expressions that pop up on people's faces when they see you there holding a sign reading “FREE HUGS.” The expressions range from raised eyebrows to laughter to the occasional grimace or squint (we should have used a bigger sign).
I was surprised at how difficult it was at first. I've been on stage talking on a mic in front of a couple thousand people, but there's something much more difficult and vulnerable about standing there, alone, trying to break through people's conception about what constitutes normal interaction between strangers. You try to keep a friendly smile on your face, but it’s hard not to drift into an almost meditative state, as the stream of people passing you blurs away, leaving you feeling totally alone, even in a crowded square.
While most people either ignore you or simply shake their head and pass you by, a few will stop to ask you what the heck you’re doing, and every once in a while someone will pause for a moment, then turn and walk toward you, with arms extended and a big smile. If you live in a big city you probably walk by thousands of people a day, people whose lives are filled with joy and tragedy, with dreams unfulfilled and crushed, just like you.
In some places (like Moscow) it's considered fake to greet someone you don’t know. I can understand this viewpoint, but every now and then it’s nice to reminded that, even as strangers, we are all brothers and sisters here on earth. I think it's safe to say that we brightened the days of many people that day, if for no other reason than that they had something to talk about with their friends or family later, recalling the two weirdos at Marienplatz who just wanted a hug.
Munich was only our second stop on the trip, and although we discussed giving out hugs in every city that we went to, we never did. I’d decided that I wanted to try giving hugs out in Moscow, but by the time I got back it was too cold, and then I forgot about it, until just a couple of days ago I saw a group of about ten people doing it on a touristy street near my apartment, which is cool, but a bit too easy, I think. If I‘m courageous enough, I’ll try it myself on some random street away from tourists. I give it about three minutes until a cop comes and asks to see my passport and permit. Russian police officers can seem a bit… cold. Maybe they just need a hug. J
You can read about the idea here: http://www.freehugscampaign.org/